Learn Something New Again!

It's been a while since my last update here due to the fact I'm busy with my mid-term exam and all those meetings and assignments (which is killing me slowly). It's been a bad start for me this week on Monday with me coming back here earlier by one hour just for the PTPTN briefing. Went there at 9.30 a.m sharp. Waiting for the successful applicants list and when it is out, check it only to discover that my name was not in the list! I went through the list for the second time to make sure that I did not miss out on my name. But again may name is not there.

Check for the third time, my name is not there too. I am deceiving myself if I look at the list again so I just accept the that I had been unsuccessful in my application. I did cry after that but with some advice from my friend that I have to be tough enough to face it and don't sit there doing nothing. Yeah right. No use cry over spilt milk.

I cried just because I can't tell my parents now that I can't get the loan, considering them had been really in shock with what I did these few months and to tell them I can't get loan is too much for them to take. Starting with me not getting a Science course for my university entry. Then I refused to go to USM to study till I go to USM reluctantly with my father drive to Penang. One week after that, they want back to Penang to get me back to KL. I lost me phone that costs RM 700+ to pickpocket and now the latest news - I can't get the PTPTN loan.

I really don't have the courage to tell them. Because I also need time to come with the terms everything that happens too fast while my parents still can't accept it. So this news is kinda hard for them to digest. No dwelling for me right now. I can't afford to do it. Time is running out. The barring process will start the week after next. It's crazy!!! People see me as a tough person and I thought I am too (even though I am a cry baby sometimes). But even the toughest man has his threshold level too. I can't take it anymore if there is more problem to come.

But luckily with the advice of my senior, I followed his advice. He really the type that calm even though there is problem coming his way. Can think rationally and never get panic. Really salute him and before this I was commenting that he was too cool. He defended that have to be somewhat a little cool to be calm. Me? Get panic and start to think negatively. I get back on track with his advice. If not for sure I will get lost in the middle of nowhere. So now I have to get focused at solving the problem with me knowing the reason why....

The worst thing coming is I have to pay fees by next week. Well, with everything still pending, I really still clueless about some of the things. But now I can see lights at the end of the tunnel with me already consider the worst case scenario. Sigh.... When will be the time I can be as mature as my senior? How can he be so mature yet only one year older? I'm like a kid compare to him. I learnt a lot from him during my 2 and a half months here. I think I rely too much on him for advice, probably due to the fact that he is experienced enough. I have to stand on my own, not just be too dependable on other people.

Lesson learnt: Be independent. Don't be panic when facing problems as it will affect how you think, be calm. "Take a step back and see what you can do" (that's what I hear from him). Find the reason for your problem before doing anything - "the more you know, the more you understand, the better you can analyse, it will give you a better view of the solutions too".

Useful words that I heard from him is really helping me much to go through my problems all these while. Even though he didn't realise it or admit to my compliments but it DID make a difference in my life!!

Now it's time for me to take a step back and let you guys to learn something from this blog (not me, but through the quotations).

Enough said.

~KEAT YEE take a step back and sign off~