Hard to Say Sorry, Thank You and Goodbye

It's official. This is the 50th post for my blog in 10 months. It means about 5 posts per month. A reason to celebrate? No. Maybe, consider there is 50 more to go before it is 100 posts. I feel funny looking back at all my complaints and rantings these 10 months. I thought of writing a 'special edition' but I scraped the idea as I feel I prefer to stick to express my feelings more.

I feel a little bit sad today. The reason? It was the last lecture for 'Critical Thinking' class. Some of the people that I know don't really like this subject as it was hard but for me, I love the subject. I almost cried when I was in the class just now. I was trying to hold back my tears as the lecturer said goodbye to all of us. Funny izit? Who the hell in the world will cry over this? It's a truth that I cried when I went back to my room later. I never cried in front of anyone here. NEVER. I think that the reason I cried is because I was reluctant to accept the fact that this class is over for all of us. I enjoyed every lecture that I went to.

I can't say thank you and goodbye to the lecturer as I know I will cry. This is the weakness in me that I couldn't change even after all these years. I cried when my people that I know left this country. I don't have the courage to tell them goodbye face to face. It's only a word, why it is hard to say it?

But the most important point that I realised is these 3 things are the words that I never expressed to my family members. I think most of us also have the same problem with this. We can say sorry when we did wrong to others but the words seem to stuck in the throat when we did wrong to our family members. We said thank you when people help us even with the smallest things but we failed to say thank you for all the help and the support that our family members gave to us. We did not say goodbye when we left for anywhere we go yet we will say goodbye to others without fail.

Why is it so? Ok, maybe not all of us acts like that, but it's true for me. When I encounter problem recently, I realised that my parents is the biggest supporter of me yet I never say thank you to them. I can say thank you to the others that helped me through all the hardship but not my parents. They support every decision that I made even though they may not agree with it. I failed to thank them for their support. I think for most of us, the best supporter will be your family members especially your parents but at the same time, they can be the opposer.

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word" sang by Elton John. How true could it be. It is really the hardest word to say (for me yeah). I can't say this simple word for the things that I did wrong. Maybe it was my ego that makes me can't say this word. I can say sorry to anyone but not to my family members.

Well, this makes me realised that family and friendship is something that is really important in my life. More than anything else. Never take them for granted. It's too late to wait till they are gone to realise how important are they to us. You'll never know just a simple thank you can make a difference in someone's day :)

That's all from me.

~KEAT YEE signing off~