Confused me....

I am sitting here blogging again...it's because i'm working afternoon shift the whole week!! Imagine it! Very boring indeed...start working in the afternoon and finish at 10.30 p.m. but it's beeter than last time when The Store closes at 11 p.m. I feel like I am lost the whole week, don't know what to do the whole week. But the executives from HQ called me yesterday (Wednesday 19 April 2006) when I was at home asking to submit report and tell me what to do, it was then that i realised that was not really a responsible person as I always shun away what I should do urgently and do something that is not so important and people will we for promises to be fulfilled by me and by then, i always make them disappointed and myself will be disappointed too. I feel so guilty!!

By the time I leave this company, people from HQ will remember me for being so irresponsible while people at my outlet think I am hardworking, which is not as procrastinate work that I doing report the whole time...sigh. What a loser I am. So now, I am determine to finish my work as soon as possible so that by the time I leave, they don't have to finish my work. Well well, other than this, there is another issue...my future. I was so confused right now!

On the other side, my cousin said that MMU course of marketing is multimedia is not bad as it teaches us about multimedia other than businees but on the other side, SOMEONE (he helped me a lot but not really close to him to even consder as friend so can't really mentioned his name) told me that his friend told him that this course is not good enough cos it's half-multimedia-half-business, so I am really confused right now cos I really get the course, I dunno if I should accept or not.

But thanks that person even he didn't help me in deciding cos he make an effort to look through the info that i faxed to him and his friend about it and listen to my dilemma and advice me cos he's the only one who really know what i am going through cos he went through the same thing before. I don't have the confidence that Singapore universities will accept me. I don't even dare to tell my parents about it as I don't want them to be disappointed. Sigh...just have to see in 2 months what I have decide.

About Me..

I am here blogging now but somehow I don't have anything special to share so I juz going to express my feeling here...sigh..

Sometimes I don't know who I am, never really understands myself, and never to go out to find actually what i want i life, with the situation now that I dunno what I am suppose to apply for the university entry, whether it's local or private university. Poeple had been saying that it's a wastage for me to study business just because I studied Science when i was in Form 6. But now when I consider carefully, I think it's not a wastage cos what u learned from school is not wasted cos it's a knowledge. I had consider carefully and I think doing something related to Science is not what I want to do my whole life(e.g. doctor, research, scientist,whatever it is...)

The only thing I apply for university is food tech/science and biotech with my last 2 choices is something like management and communication, just in case I don't qualify for those food tech and biotech. As all knows, local university entry is not easy if u really want to get your first four choicesSo now I applied for MMU just in case I can't get what i chose. And there are people that says MMU courses is not good since it's multimedia combined with business...sigh...well, let's see.

This is the third day I'm writing the same blog...sigh...time is so short...i can't even have the time to complete a same thing fast. That's me, always slow in whatever I do. Miss out on my time just because I procrastinate in everything I do, from the past till now. One work is delayed and other work that follows will also be delayed. That's why I was never succesful in everything I do.This will be the reason if I fail in something. I was a total failure. I have this attitude because I don't have the courage to face whatever I do. OR I shouldn't be giving excuses for my attitude! I should have find a way to improve my situation. Sigh...

And life is really short. In 2 weeks period, I had heard about 3 death. What a life!! Sometimes we can't control death but among the 3 dead, 2 died because of cancer and died because of heart failure. One is my cousin's grandmother, she died while he's overseas on the way home, I think that he feel a bit of regret cos he can't see her grandma for the last time, but in life, we have regrets. Nothing we can do about it, just have to accept it and go on with life.

Now, I'm at a point where I lost my directions. Nothing to seem right for me, I'm restless, and an easy task of transferring a parcel from my workplace to another branch can be in a mess. But it can't be my fault, I can't make decision over it as it's THE COMPANY that pay for it, I have asked the admin what am I supposed to do with it, and they say I should asked the Accounts dept, and the Accounts dept told me to ask Admin Dept. Back to Admin dept and they told me to ask Accounts about the payment, and back to Accounts dept and they told me to ask the branch manager about the payment, and manager told me to ask Accounts dept about payment.

Finally someone make the first step of calling the courier service. And when I called the courier company for the second time, I lost direction and dunno what I should tell them. My colleague realised this and told me that all this while she thought me was a multi-tasker and this is the first time she saw me get lost. But the truth is, I am not even a multi-tasker. I am doing a lot of task at the same time cos I delay everything. Well, nothing I can say about me anymore....

Kelly's leaving.... ;-(

Well, Kelly's leaving...Actually it gotta be she HAD LEFT all of us this morning to pursue her studies in Japan. Reluctant to let her leave but nothing much i can do right? Of course i have to be happy for her cos this is a once in a lifetime opprtunity for her!! All i can do is wish her all the best in everything she do. I have been felling blue the whole week prior to her leaving date and i almost cry at my workplace when something stressful happens at work.

Well, life goes on. And on yesterday, I don't even have the courage to call her and talk to her cos i know i'l be crying cos i was a cry baby all this while,so all i do is send her a message to wish her good luck. She has been a good friend of mine for all this while and her success had been a motivation to me study hard and she had support me against all odds. We went out for yam cha,sitting at Starbucks, while talking and catching up on wat's happening, laughing at Chee Wei's antics, watching movies together and went for shopping together. I

'll not forget alll this. Well, Lien Ghee u are a bravo person!! Happy to have a friend like u!! Iwas crying while i was writing this, so u guys really know how sad i am now... I don't have to courage to go to the airport,cos i'll be crying seeing people leave.... Time will heal all sadness and i juz have to wait till next year where Lien Ghee will be back for her holidays...